Best Homework Jokes

Summer vacation is over, and that’s no laughing matter. But you can go back to the classroom with a smile on your face, thanks to these funny jokes about school sent in by Boys’ Life readers. Do you know a funny joke? Click here to send it to us.

Luke comes home from his first day of school, and his mother asks, “What did you learn today?”

“Not enough,” Luke replies. “They said I have to go back tomorrow.”

Submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y.

Nate: Why was school easier for cave people?
Kate: Why?
Nate: Because there was no history to study!

Submitted by Nathaniel R., Glendale, Wis.

A book never written: “The Best Subject in School” by Jim Class.

Submitted by Ian B., Howell, N.J.

David: Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?
Dan: I don’t know. Why?
David: Because it was always sweeping during class!

Submitted by David L., Hicksville, N.Y.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Luke: Why did the M&M go to school?
Stan: I’m stumped.
Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!

Submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y.

Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school?
Josh: I don’t know. Why?
Chad: They’re good at trick questions.

Submitted by Chad N., Firestone, Colo.

Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?
Leonard: Why?
Jacob: She had bright students!

Submitted by Jacob B., South Bend, Ind.

A book never written: “High School Math” by Cal Q. Luss.

Submitted by Josh A., Los Angeles, Calif.

A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings.

Submitted by Alex M., Ashland, Mass.

Joe: What’s the king of all school supplies?
Moe: I don’t know. What?
Joe: The ruler.

Submitted by Connor B., Metairie, La.

Tom Swiftie: “We have too many quizzes in school!” Tom said testily.

Submitted by Brian C., Snohomish, Wash.

Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.

Submitted by Kyle S., Chesapeake, Va.

Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today!
Mom: That’s great. What in?
Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.

Submitted by Zachary D. G., Rutherford, N.J.

Hunter: What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school?
Josh: Beats me.
Hunter: Pop quizzes!

Submitted by Sean G., Kailua, Hawaii

What kind of school do you go to if you’re…
…an ice cream man? Sundae school.
…a giant? High school.
…a surfer? Boarding school.
…King Arthur? Knight school.

Submitted by Ryan K., North Platte, Neb.

Mom: What did you do at school today?
Mark: We did a guessing game.
Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam.
Mark: That’s right!

Submitted by Adam P., Wichita, Kan.

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.

Submitted by Caleb R., Jackson, Mich.

Teacher: Daniel, I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself?
Daniel: I’m glad it’s Friday!

Submitted by Martin R., Belmont, Mass.

Phil: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher?
Cheryl: I don’t know.
Phil: He has only one pupil.

Submitted by Colin C., Kansas City, Mo.

Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located?
Tommy: At the great airports!

Submitted by Nicholas G., South Range, Wis.

Teacher: If you had 13 apples, 12 grapes, 3 pineapples and 3 strawberries, what would you have?
Billy: A delicious fruit salad.

Submitted by Harry B., Longmeadow, Mass.

Math teacher: A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 250 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 150 m.p.h. Where did they meet?
Johnny: In jail!

Submitted by Glenn J., Santa Ana, Calif.

Teacher: Tommy, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
Tommy: Yes, ma’am. At the bottom.

Submitted by Luke M., Morganton, N.C.

Jordan: My teacher says I have to write more clearly.
Mom: That’s a good idea, Jordan.
Jordan: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell.

Submitted by Jordan R., Nashville, Tenn.

Peter: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
Ted: What?
Peter: A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”

Submitted by Ted S., Lisle, Ill.

Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object?
Student: You are pretty.
Teacher: What’s the direct object?
Student: A good report card.

Submitted by Samuel E., Coweta, Okla.

Teacher: Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory?
Student: I don’t know. Why?
Teacher: Because you can’t concentrate!

Submitted by Caleb S., Mount Vernon, Mo.

Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.

Submitted by Alex D., Chevy Chase, Md.

John: Knock, knock.
Justin: Who’s there?
John: Gladys.
Justin: Gladys, who?
John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!

Submitted by John S., Farmington, Ga.

Teacher: Why did you eat your homework, Joe?
Joe: Because I don’t have a dog.

Submitted by Austin C., Bowie, Md.


Why did the boy eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.

What did the fishing rod say to the boat?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Why can't you do your calculus homework on a Friday night?
Because you can't drink and derive.

Why don't you do arithmetic homework in the jungle?
Because if you add 4+4 you get ate.

What did the dog say to his classmate?
"Can I copy your homework, I ate mine."

What did the cheerleader say when she was given more homework?
Bring It On.

What do you call a man who can do a years worth of homework in two weeks?
Billy Madison.

Why don't fish need to do homework?
Because they're always swimming in schools.

Why do people do homework?
Because it doesn't know how to do it itself.

Why can't you do homework faster than Rachael Leigh Cook?
Because "She's All That".

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Dewey!
Dewey who?
Dewey really have homework on the first day?

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Howl.
Howl who?
Howl we finish our homework on time?

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Canoe!
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my home work.



My homework brings all the Asians to the yard, and they're like, "It wasn't that hard."

I would do my math homework, but I've already got my own problems.

I was a thirty something frat boy and I never had homework, but that was at my "Old School".

If school isn't a place to sleep then home isn't a place to study.

I wanted to turn in my bartending homework, but I was absinthe.

Biology Teacher: "Students, what does the chiken give you?"
Student(s): Eggs and Meat!
Teacher: "Great! What dose the pig give you?"
Student(s): Bacon!
Teacher: "Excellent! Now what does the fat cow give you?"
Student(s): HOMEWORK!!

SCHOOL: 2 + 2 = 4.
HOMEWORK: 2 + 4 + 2 = 8.
EXAM: Matthew has 4 apples, his train is 7 minutes early, calculate the sun's mass.

What do pigs give you?
Pork.
What do goats give you?
Cheese.
What do cows give you?
Homework.

Teacher says to little Mary, "I want you draw a picture of a house"
Little Mary says "That must be my HOMEwork"

Human Body
The teacher asks, "Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"
Flora blushes and says, "That's disgusting, I won't even answer that question."

The teacher calls on Johnny: "What part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"
"That's easy," says Johnny. "It's the pupil of the eye."
"Very good, Johnny," responds the teacher. "That's correct."

She then turns to Flora and says, "First, you didn't do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, you're in for a BIG disappointment."

Bad Student
One day I went into school all puzzled and said to my teacher "Miss will i get into trouble for something i havent done ?"
She said "No why"
I said " Because I havent done my homework.

Pick Up Lines
I wish I was your calculus homework, because then I'd be hard and you'd be doing me on your desk.

If you were my homework Id do you all over my desk

Is your name homework? 'Cause I'm not doing you, but I should be.

Joke Generators:

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